Somewhere Only We Know ....... Read online

  Our permanent teacher arrived in the shape of Miss Johnson. She was a force to be reckoned with and handed out test papers for us to learn the moment she arrived on the Monday morning. Tables and spellings. I copied them and copied them all week in preparation for our test on Friday morning, but none of it made any sense, I was barely 6 years old. Every morning that week I woke up to find myself soaking in my own wee. Still I said nothing to my mam and dad. Friday morning came and Miss Johnson began shouting out the words she had given to us asking us to write them on the paper, spelling them correctly. I was clueless. I was terrified. I wet myself. I can still see the yellow water trickling around my chair. The class went into an uproar and Miss Johnson marched over and grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of the classroom. I became hysterical and it took a slap across my wet legs for me to be able to breathe properly again.

  My mam was summoned to the school. She was mortified at the state I was in and I can remember her shouting ‘she is only a little girl, how did she get into this state?’ As Miss Johnson began to explain, I can remember my mam say ‘why on earth would a 6 year old be tested under these conditions?’ And then it was out. The school in their wisdom had let me sit in a class with children 5 years older than me and no one had noticed.

  The following Monday morning I was placed in with my right class, but everyone knew I had wet myself and I could hear all my classmates laughing and whispering about me. The wetting myself incident would follow me for the rest of my days in Washington.

  I was on the outside looking in again. All the time I was in the wrong class, my real classmates had forged friendships. I was once again a loner, someone who made up stories to get their classmates attention. Not that they wanted to be my friend anyway, but that was my life for the next few years. One big lie after another, until in the end even if I was telling the truth no one believed me. A release came when once again we were on the move, another brand new house 10 miles away. But this time, at 10 years old I was prepared and ready for it.

  Swing Low Sweet Chariot

  The new house turned out to be lovely, it had a nice garden and it was in a cul-de-sac so it was very private. My mam and dad seemed very proud of the fact that they were buying it, a first in our family, and they both worked very hard to make sure the house always looked its best.

  I started my new school. I was in the last year of the Junior School and I started the way I meant to go on. This was a new me, confident and popular, I was going to act my socks off. At 11 years old I looked like a 14 year old. My body was fully developed and I used it to ingrain myself into my new class. A twang of my bra was never off limits to the lads and I had been known to show them my knickers if the mood took me. As young as I was I was very aware of sex, this was mainly thanks to Margaret and Bill; as I liked to call them if I ever thought of them and their sex life, and their night-time activities.

  Margaret and Bill; the old dogs. Well I suppose they weren’t that old really, but to me they were ancient. Anyway, I can remember clearly the first night I ‘heard them‘. It must have been the week of my tests at school and I had woken myself up in my wet bed. I remember as I lay there in the dark I could hear yelping noises coming from my mam and dad’s room. I lay and listened with excitement, it was around my birthday time and I thought that God had heard my prayers and I was getting a puppy.

  All of the next day at school I could hardly contain myself, I got in from school and went straight to my mam and dad’s bedroom. I searched everywhere but there was no sign of a puppy. What I did find stashed under their bed were lots and lots of magazines and a few strange looking toys. I sat on the floor beside the bed and opened one of the magazines. It was full of naked women in all sorts of poses, and in some of the pictures there was naked men too. The men all had huge willies, much bigger than the boys at school whose willies I had seen when they peed against the school fence. As young as I was I was fascinated and can remember having a warm feeling in my tummy. I put everything back in its place, even the odd toys and crept out of the bedroom. Over the following years I would often have a rummage under my mam and dad’s bed, the noises in the night continued but the puppy never materialised.

  But it was after we moved to Wrekenton that my curiosity about sex was given a real schooling. Life was settled and we were happy in our new home. I made friends and spent weekends and school holidays with my Grandparents. My mam and dad became keen members of our local Parish Church, they attended Sunday morning services and were often out at Church functions.

  It was an unexpected stay at home one weekend that gave me a peep at what my mam and dad got up to when I wasn’t around. Like I said most weekends I went to Kinsley, but I had developed a temperature at school one Friday afternoon and it was decided that I would just stay at home that weekend. I stayed in my room dozing on and off for most of Friday night and all of the Saturday, but a trip down into the kitchen on the Saturday teatime seemed to throw my mam and dad into a frenzy of whispering.

  My mam fussed around me asking me how I was feeling and did I need anything? When I said I was feeling a lot better, she came up to me and felt my head. ‘You are burning up!’ she said. Funny, I was feeling quite cool, but as she rushed to the medicine drawer I got myself a glass of water and took the two small white tablets she handed to me. I took myself back to bed and for the next few hours slept like a baby.

  It was dark when I woke, but I could hear the sound of laughter coming from downstairs. ‘My mam and dad must have some friends in!’ I thought to myself as I swung my legs out of bed. ‘There might be something to eat!’ At that moment I was starving.

  I pulled on my dressing gown and opened the bedroom door, but something stopped me in my tracks. I could hear noises, but it wasn’t so much laughter, it was more like the puppy noise!!! We had an open plan staircase as so many houses that were built in the 70’s had, so I crept to the top of the stairs and listened. Yes, it was definitely the sound of puppies and some pigs too by the sound of it. Slowly I edged my way forward, inch by inch, until I was about 4 stairs down the staircase. I bent my head and peeped through the lattes. The sight I saw would remain with me for the rest of my life.

  In our living room, and I mean our ‘family living room’ were two couples who I knew my mam and dad were friendly with at church. One of the couples was the deputy church warden and his wife, who incidentally ran the youth club, the other couple were the church organist and her dour husband, well I always thought he was a sour face, he wasn’t so sour faced now, as well as my mam and dad.

  What the six of them were doing beggars belief. Firstly, they didn’t have a stitch of clothes on between them. The organist had my dad’s organ in her mouth, while the youth club leader was licking away between her legs. My mam was taking it doggy style from the deputy

  Church warden, whilst the sour faced man was doing something with his hand to the youth club leader. I was mortified and fascinated all at the same time. They were all oblivious to my presence, no wonder my mam and dad sent me away every weekend if this is what happened. I sat there for as long as I could, until the moaning and yelping became too much and I slipped back into my bedroom.

  I lay in my bed listening until the puppy noises changed to laughter and I could hear people using the loo and the clinking of glasses.

  Eventually I heard the front door closing and the sound of my mam and dad tidying up downstairs. I continued to lie in my bed long after I heard my mam and dad go to bed and I still lay after the house was silent. It wasn’t just because I was shocked by what I had seen, I had seen the magazines under the bed many a time, but the reason I couldn’t get to sleep was that I was turned on. The sight of the riving bodies, even in their middle aged state had turned me on. Sleep finally came, but only after I tentatively put my hand down my pyjamas bottoms and rubbed at the little nub until my young body had convulsed in pleasure. I had found a new favourite hobby.

  Young Girl

  Not long after I started senior school, some
thing remarkable happened. I got my first ever best friend. I now had school friends but even with my new found confidence in myself, I still struggled fitting in, especially with the girls, the boys were easier, I think they looked at my developing body and thought it was worth me tagging along with them on the off chance I might let them cop a grope. Obviously the girls saw this as a threat and so I was never quite ‘in with them’, I was never invited to their girly get togethers outside of school.

  But then there was Jenny and any hurt and rejection that I had endured faded into the background, Jenny was my guardian angel and my devil’s advocate rolled into one.

  Jenny lived in my street. I had seen her plenty of times as I made my way forwards and backwards to school. Her house was three doors away from ours, but where our house was a suburban 3 bedroom semi, her house was a huge 5 bedroom detached with a double garage and smart grassed lawns all around. I can remember her lawns vividly, one morning I walked passed her house to school and there has only been mud and rubbish in the gardens and on my return there was no sign of the mud and rubbish, just beautiful lush green lawns. I found this fascinating, my poor dad had been trying to grow a lawn in our back garden for months using lawn seed, but to that point it was still sparse and pathetic. My dad had tried everything to keep the birds off it but even with his attempts at pretending he was a scarecrow, the lawn remained feeble.

  So I always took an interest in the 5 bed roomed detached house down the street. Jenny lived in the house with her older sister and her granddad, or so I thought. One day as I was wandering passed I happened to glance into the open garage and was shocked to see Jenny’s sister kissing her granddad, not a friendly peck on the cheek like I gave my granddad, this was a full on snog. I couldn’t get into my house quick enough, I started getting the tea ready, all the while wondering what the hell was happening at Willow House. My family was dysfunctional enough, I mean I could be on my death bed and there was no way I would spend a weekend at our house. After the initial shock of the ‘swingers party’ with the good people of the Church, I put the thought of it out of my head, no way was I ever going to let on to my parents about what I had seen that night.

  After tea while me and my mam washed up I took the bull by the horns and asked outright “Mam! How old is Jenny along the street’s sister?” “You mean the girl who lives in Willow House pet” my mam answered. “Yes!” “Jenny doesn’t have a sister love, the other girl who lives there is her mam”. God this is getting worse I thought to myself. “Are right mam, so Jenny and her mam live with Jenny’s granddad?” “No pet, they live with Jenny’s dad”. So the snoggers in the garage were Jenny’s mam and dad; that was just too awful!! How could Jenny’s mam be married to that old man? Poor Jenny I thought to myself, I had a stepdad and that was bad enough, but for people to think your dad was your granddad was unimaginable.

  I had been at senior school for a few months when Jenny first spoke to me. We would both get the same bus to school and were often on the same bus home. At 14 Jenny was one of the cool kids at school.

  Small and blonde, she sashayed along the corridors at school, nearly always with a friend or two and undoubtedly a boy too. She was picture perfect and always had a huge smile on her face, I found her happiness unnerving considering the strange state of her parents.

  Anyway, on the bus home from school one day Jenny came and sat on the seat next to me. “Hi ya” she said. “Do you fancy coming to mine after tea and listening to some records?” “Yes please” was all I could mutter. “Come along when you are ready then”. I skipped home, hardly ate a bite of tea and was dressed and ready in no time.

  Jenny bounded up the stairs in front of me to her bedroom. It was huge and very pink! It looked like a giant marshmallow, all soft and sweet, just like Jenny really. I felt awkward and shy and wasn’t sure where I should sit or what I should say. I needn’t have worried, Jenny smiled and for the next few hours chatted away to me like she had known me for years. It was one of the best days of my life.

  From then on in Jenny and me spent all our spare time together. Even though she was a few years above me at school she still searched me out at break time and I hung out with her and her other friends. Suddenly I was cool. With Jenny’s help I began to evolve: I had my hair cut into a page boy style and one night in Jenny’s bathroom we hid my mousy brown hair under a lush mahogany hair tint. The hems on my school skirts went up and the buttons on my blouses went down. My mam and dad were worried, I could see it on their faces and the sly looks they gave each other whenever I left the house with a face full of make-up on, or when I came through the front door and made straight for my bedroom.

  I didn’t care, I had Jenny. Jenny, my Jenny was amazing. She lived in a fabulous house, had parents whose sole purpose was to make her happy and she was popular, especially with boys. I was totally smitten with her and best of all she seemed to like me.

  It didn’t take long for me to start making excuses not to go to Kinsley, I missed my Granny but tried not to think too much about it, I was sure she would be happy that I had a friend. Not that I wanted to stay in my house with my mam and dad’s strange shenanigans, but Jenny’s mam and dad were happy for me to stay with them. And so it was that Willow House became my second home.

  Me and Jenny topped and tailed in her bed and we shared everything, clothes, make-up and best of all secrets. I told Jenny what had happened the night of the party and we used to peep out of her bedroom window on a Saturday night and watch the cars pull up outside my mam and dad’s house. And we laughed and we laughed, and by doing that it somehow made what my mam and dad were doing easier to bare.

  Jenny told me about how her mam had met her dad. Debra was just 17 when she started working as a clerk in a solicitor’s office in Newcastle. Jerry was one of the partners at the solicitors, he was well into his fifties when Debra went to work there. For some unknown reason Debra and Jerry struck up a friendship, Debra who had been brought up on one the roughest council estates in Newcastle was impressed that someone in Jerry’s position would even want to talk to her never mind like her and Jerry, a man that had remained a bachelor living with his widowed mother until her recent death was totally smitten with the blonde haired young girl with the lovely smile. They fell in love, it was as simple as that, 3 months after meeting they slipped away to Gretna Green and married, much to everyone’s surprise and a year later Jenny was born.

  The more time I spent with Jenny the more my confidence grew. I began to look down my nose at other girls in my year, seeking out the company of Jenny or one of her friends whenever the opportunity arose. I started to smoke, would never be seen out of the house without my face being made up and I showed off my body the best I could. And I discovered I loved boys.

  Jenny always had loads of lads after her, she would tease a group of them at the local youth club and then at the end of the night would choose one to go around the back with and have a bit kiss. She was still a virgin, but I knew it was only a matter of time before she was going to let one of the lads go all of the way. Obviously Jenny being popular with lads had its bonuses for me too. There was always one of the lads in the group who would fancy his chances with me, I

  wasn’t even 13 and I was necking on with 15 and 16 year olds, letting them have a feel of my tits if I fancied it. There wasn’t a better feeling than having a snog with a lad and feeling his hard-on pushing against me.

  We started to go to parties on a weekend. My pocket money didn’t go far so I took to stealing alcohol out of the house. I used to fill a pop bottle with a concoction from my mam and dad’s drinks cabinet. I never took it all from the same bottle, I took a small amount and refilled it with water, then did the same with the next bottle until my pop bottle was full. It was a lethal cocktail - a mixture of whisky, brandy, vodka, Malibu, Bacardi and anything else I could get my hands on. It was vile, but for Jenny and me it had the desired effect. We became invincible and often very very sick.

  It was at one of these parties that I
learnt the art of the blow-job. A lad that I had fancied for ages was there, he was gorgeous and he was 16. I couldn’t believe it when he followed me upstairs when I went to the loo and I almost fainted when I felt his hand rub my bottom as I waited for the toilet to become available. My cheeks were burning when I eventually got into the loo, the hand rubbing had remained persistent as I queued and as I sat on the toilet my mind was racing. I retouched my makeup, squirted some toothpaste into my mouth and sprayed some perfume all over my body.

  When I opened the bathroom door, Shaun was standing dead in front of me. As I made to pass him he grabbed my hand and led me to one of the bedrooms, I went willingly. Once in the bedroom he started to kiss me, and God was he hot. I didn’t resist when Shaun’s hand found its way up my tee shirt and he started grabbing at my boobs and I certainly didn’t resist when he pushed me back onto the bed - I was in heaven.

  The kissing continued, all the time Shaun’s hands roamed all over my body, unzipping my jeans and pushing his hand down into my knickers. I heard him groan when he eventually got his hand onto my pussy, I was really wet. The mixture of the drink I had had earlier and the fact that I was so turned on made me really brave. Before I knew what I was doing I was unzipping his jeans and groping around to feel for his cock. My hand wrapped around his shaft and I began to move it slowly up and down, but his jeans made this difficult so I pushed him off me and told him to drop his pants.

  There he stood in his full glory. It was the first time I had seen a cock up close and personal and I liked what I saw. I liked the feel of it in my hand but most of all I liked the effect my actions had on Shaun, he was putty in my hands so to speak. I wasn’t interested in my needs, I knew how my body worked, after all I had been masturbating for years, but this cock was new and exciting. I continued to wank Shaun but decided that I wanted to taste him.